I just felt there must be something else I was meant to do.
Fortunately, I had the time and enough money to try different mediums. So the pencils have been on the back burner as I experimented. The fact is that I've hardly sold anything since then. As I realized this, I had to stop and ask myself some questions. Do I have a body of work to show for the last two years? No, I don't. Have I found a medium I want to stick with now? No. Have I enjoyed my experimenting? Yes, definitely. Then I asked the most important question. Where am I going? I don't know. I thought I would feel more accomplished by now, I expected to be more successful at selling than back then.
This morning I was going to change directions and not even use the stamping and collage ideas I'd used all week. Then it hit me......I never stick with anything! Nothing gets practiced enough for me to improve with it. I get discouraged and try something else.
I realized that I need to make plans for myself. I need a loose structure ( is that even possible?) to keep organized with my work. I decided to work only with the Anne Bagby video ideas this week and see where that leads me. Then, if I feel I'm going somewhere, another week. This way I won't get off track and start another project.
Now, I still have those two miniatures due in a few weeks, and my cp portraits of the two little cuties waiting to get done. But this way I'll know that I'll give them exclusive time when I plan it. Does that make sense?