I've Lost It!

Has anyone seen my focus lately? Because I've lost it. And, boy, nothing weighs on me more heavily than wasted time. So I'm trying to figure out what I'm supposed to be doing while feeling guilty about every second that passes. Today I gave myself a gift...an entire day to play in my studio, without guilt. Well, I had fun, but I think I wasted paint and time. There is nothing to show for this but I do know a little more about the qualities of acrylics, so it was worth it. 

During the last week, I've also worked on another chair, this one is 14x11. And this is a scan so it was not able to fit on the scanner bed, so it's a little cropped and crooked. It's not finished.

Of course I've been thinking while experimenting in my studio, and the result of my thinking is this. Portraits are my real love. When I started using colored pencils, it was to do portraits. Then last year I started some still lifes with pencils and they went over well, many were sold. Most of those had black or dark backgrounds. And now I've moved into still lifes with lighter backgrounds and they haven't sold at all ( maybe the economy) and I really am not happy with them. So why have I strayed from what I love? I don't know! I think I need to just concentrate on portraits and figure studies. And I still feel a pull to the paints. I'm sure I'll get all this resolved in time. But that's what I began this post talking about...time!